I rarely blog because of two main reasons. Firstly, i cannot post any entry from my lappy for God knows what reason. Whenever i tried to, the 'body' box is never there, and never existed. And when i decided to perform trial and error by just typing my title into the empty box and cicked 'submit', the admin still got the cheek in telling me to insert my entries for the body. How can i, when you don't provide me with a 'body' box, you scroundel, knnccb. neber use lour blain wan. Yea, so that's the fucking reason why i can't be blogging. Another reason, which is the most common reason in the history of all common, popular reasons is that, i'm exhausted after a whole day of school for almost every week. So to prove my statement, let me share the activities i've been carrying out, which adds onto my already hectic commitment. People, especially parents advised me to let it go, thinking it's some non-useful shitty tasks, but i'm loving it and ill never withdrew myself from cca commitments. Not in any case, because i love the time i had in my cca. I think i'll be a devoted member. And because of that, i reached home around ten, on three days. That's quite a mouthful. So let's check out what happen recently.

Dikir

Yes, i took part in this. I love the instructor because he's humorous. I love the people around because they're warm. I love the freshies because they're younger than me. (hahahahha) okay no la no la. I love the new people because they're just so fun to hang out with. I sang, i joked around, i blew my top, i've had FUN! And we're so lucky that we're the first badge to have a confirmed costume for performances. oh how great!

Wahh, my mum's calling me man. I need to dress up because im going Johor. I'll continue later, after the trip, yo.

While they think, it's a form of style, i think it just totally suck. Everything does not make sense, they talk about it just to fit in, and fake an identity which is not them originally, but do so out of a common desire- craving attention. And I, as a short- attention spender, cannot tolerate anything unruly than that. Seriously speaking, these groups of people should fuck off. And i got pissed off almost immediately witnessing some stupid old telltales of pseudo acts in nature, prevailing pretence. These are some of the reasons why:-

• Young, adorable adolescents(primary school kids okay) featuring their boyfriends/girlfriends in public pages like Friendster, while gallantly putting captions like, 'love you FOREVER'' or, ''my HUSBAND/ WIFE'' or better still, ''She/he's the REASON why I LIVE''.
• Blogs of VAIN female moronic jackasses, where almost all the pictures they posted were self-portraits of them in front of the mirror, pouting away or perhaps those ladies with big GREEN, BLUE, PURPLE pupils, (as a result of wearing lenses) could turn you on?
• pictues at friendsters of emoshitters squating like there's nobody's business beside a filthy drain, stood in between deserted streets, sitting alone at some alienated,dark alleys around Singapore and then telling viewers that 'i'm NOT being emo here' ... ?????
• Excessive edited pictures until it's hard to see the faces.
• Bulletin boards of those boring lists, where you need to fill up some random questions available. (ohmygod, this one irks me the most when the questions are usually not related to one another)
• Bloghopping and then discover that you can't enter this particular blog because the user's activating password protection.
• Obscene footages of some bimbotic chibais, and putting captions like.. 'Am i cute?', 'Alalla.. sweet lah,' and this bonus piece of shit 'i'm just being ME'. walaowe.. please la please.
• Contradicting profiles of yourself.
• Profiles that are so simple and yet so non-understandable.

I'm not being fussy about these trashes because i know it has got NOTHING to do with me. But as all may say, stop rampaging into one's mandatory league, when you know you can't stand it. Well, i don't but as a matter of fact, i have been ignoring all of the above since i encountered it. But as i'm an active netizen, i surf friendster mostly all the time and love viewing different profile pages.Not only that, i bloghop like the frequency of an SMRT transit. As i do so, one at a time, i start to recollect a common pattern- and that's that. I'm dwelling on something i know i should live with. Because no matter how hard i try to convey this message, it will fall on deaf ears. That's various style, for you.

Mary mary you're so fine. You're so fine you blew my mind!

I know i've been disappearing from blogging these days. But, i could not help it nochalanting about everything there is to know about. My blog, the biggest asset in life one fine day could turn out as small as a tiny speck of dust or snowflakes, dissolving like sands, as it slipped off my mind. I couldn't remember when was the last time i blogged, but it's a heartwreching attempt to even think about it. My blog had been barren, these days as i idly tried managing my time with the tightest schedule ever (having to complete assignments within the specified date and socialising with peers from the upstream). It's like being in a huge marathon without having a clue who's going to win this! Well, life itself is already a marathon.

Everyday, sitting around and occupying space in the SBS bus, is a mundane task, when all you do, is basically laying ass on the comfortable seat beside a pleasant middle aged whoever, with a belingerent driver that never practises emergency brake for nothing and sweet melodies of groans from the back of the bus. Yes, the young couples are making love. Ewww sounds disgusting but what the fuck, stop faking it as if you're the saint around here. When we're speaking about sex, the oohs and the ahhhs made a majority. While the more descerning ones tried keeping themselves busy by pretending that a stomachache had just bombed a syndrome tp the other people. Likewise, sex spiced up the flavor of all other exciting topics. Yesterday, while i was enjoying the cool breeze of the air conditioner on top of my head in a bus, i was cautioned by some indecent acts by two students in MY former school. My juniors were holding hands while sitting too close to each other, and the guy Oh the guy Yes the guy, started rummaging his hands on the girl's private parts. And alas, the girl was smiling like she never smiled before, and they pecked gently on the cheeks. No, i did not witness the whole incident but i smirked the whole time  and nudged the girl beside me, who was once my fellow counterpart. She gave me that auspicious look and we giggled like wannabe motherfcukers. I felt as if i was restounding in mid air. Then, came the groan. The small tiny whimsical groans which ended up abruptly with a sweet voice of 'i'll call you later baby'. After the girl left, i tilted my head toward the guy who was still holding onto the butterflies in his stomach. I could see a smile on his face as he his mind drifted with the girl's desperate 'love'. I murmured, ''nice shot there man'', and looked away without any slightest thought of taking a glance of him, again.

I kept on wondering why 'busy' was a contagious word used by me, since the start of school. My lovely friends called me and i said 'sorry im busy'. My mum stormed into my room and demanded an explanation as to why i'm not talking to her a lot, and i said 'perhaps im busy with work' and even, my neighbour asked me why she wasn't seeing me so often around the corridors, and i replied bluntly 'that i was rather busy'. Even my own friendster profile has a shoutout which says 'BUSY LAH'. On the contrary, i wasn't very busy actually. Not very much that i started to ignore one of the most important angel in my life (my mum). When she came to my room, with a sombre look, i knew that she was unhappy with my actions these days. I slammed the door shut, and took up half of the time with my laptop, roaming through internet sites that sometimes wasn't relevant for any schoolwork. When i decided to inhale some fresh air outside, i realised that i was creeping, when it was totally unnecessary. Once, i went back home feeling so lethargic and exhaustive that i snapped at my smaller brother when he asked a tiny favor from me. I realised that i'm liasing with a devil, or was the devil a part of me now? I will be damned by many. In fact, i'm stirring up the angry moods among my family now. I need a fix, like i told everyone else. Perhaps my mum wasn't knowing of it at all, how i've changed a little these past few days. I'm slowly learning to cope with poly life, and adapt to a whole different atmosphere but why should i put the blame on others, when they don't understand why i'm doing this? My mum was my only filial and loyal love, she gave me entirely all the support and even packed my lunchbox. She's the greatest one i have as of now, and i don't want to lose her love. I'm not emotional as i'm typing this, but i think something has knock me over, and it's about time, i realised my mistake.

But, fundamentally, i'm happy right now. I made friends with a lot of people in school, and i'm feeling safe and sound. I find love in people around, and my seniors are uber fantastic lots! They've been telling me to hold onto a lot of things and keep updating me with interesting stuffs i'll get to learn next year and all. My radio deejay partner, Sarah was a useful helper too. I'm happy i'm kicking off school in Ngee Ann polytechnic. And now, let me venture through what i hope to be a fun-filled  journey!

''The teardrop is the only source which cleanses my life. It is an unimaginable dillusion i kept inside, killing my stomach and i still won't let it go. It happens when i'm sad, it just happens. Certainly, i wish they'd listen to what i'm saying.''

Let this bothers me for a minute or two. I can't hold it back because it keeps replaying, repeating and repeating again and again. I wish it stops right there, but i can't guarantee happiness. The only reason why i'm feeling this is because i think i'm not the same anymore, which hurts seriously. I gotta change myself and accept the fact that i'm in a new situation and just go with the flow. Suit myself to the scenario, step up to the challenges and experience how it is to lose- something i don't get a chance to last time. I can't help it but to say i do miss the moment. Well, it's not so bad isn't it? So why am i fretting over the whole thing? I wish i had an explanation but truthfully, i don't. Somehow, i think i've lose everything. I can run run and run without looking behind, but it won't take long when i gave up and sat. Clenching my fist in a state of agony drives a realisation-  to realise i'm braver than what i personally feel i'm not. So, this is what i have to work on. Put up a brave front and narrow it down slowly & slowly & slowly, until every smoke of breaths was filtered. This is stupid, everything is stupid when you got this perception in yourself that you're stupid. The way i eat is stupid, the way i sit is stupid, alas, even the way i talk sounds stupid.

Debating was fun, but other participants, including me (haha) was just laying our asses for the sake of debating shit. We weren't doing our research that much and the guider cum teacher was prancing her way, taking light angelic steps around class, absolutely doing nothing. The debate session would commence anytime soon  but i was still dreaming cows crossing the crescent moon. My mind skyrocketed to space for a good half and hour, absolutely doing nothing. When i was asked to discuss about the topic, i sat still and only wait for suggestions. I was focusing yes i was. Because as soon as the debate session started, i debated like one fucking asshole with a mouth that just couldn't stop. Besides that, i was also smiling my way to debating for a bonus point, rather. Oh, and i was shortlisted for radio heatwave part time deejays baby! How kooooo-lier is that, ya'll? I would be managing my own segment with my adorable partner, Sarah and i wish we would somehow rocked the conty with our bommbbastic speeches. I'm doing a malay segment so i was kinda lost actually. I had no clue what to programme but yet, everything sounded so fun if i was pro at it already. Imagine entertaining the pupils in canteen 1 with our sexay voices inside a cooling conty, where people walking to and fro could actually see us from the big transparent screen depicting the whole picture of what's happening inside the conty. I cannot wait to rock on Wednesday from 11-12, so please tune in to radio heatwave, the first radio campus station in Singapore!

Not only that  i've got a zillion assignments to complete within the fixed deadline, my inner self is tiring out. I can't seem to sustain the available energy anymore. ahhh fark.

I stop taking this kind of lame poses infront of the mirror when i discovered that everyone does it too, so i kind of thought it's damn stupid. Walao. Courtesy of Filzah's now-destroyed digi camera and me, look at me! aha, that's how i look with short hair. A geekologist, please.

This is horrible. I've got so much of assignments to complete, and the idea of having to stay up until the point where the streets were preety much deserted, and owls began to roam the cemetery. I cannot stand it, to see small little black rings around my eyes. This is totally, ridiculous. I have to take care of my health, but such an attempt sometimes doesn't seem possible. I kept worrying too much, all about school rather, and blamed it on my brain. It's been swelling like it never did. My heart's been pounding like it never did. I tried to create similar ambience but it wasn't working out very well. I was stuck in between a friendship so fake, and that was made worse, when i cannot even find my worth. My eyes were constantly scanning the setting; i need to let go of my worries.

Anyhoot, i think i love some classmates. They're very kind, and school's so fun with them around. But yet again, fun is deadly, when workloads seemed to increase. I sort of tried to manipulate stress with fun, but it's not working out, again. &&&& just to share with you guys, i've been trying out my luck in a part time deejay hunting, organized by my polytechnic radio station, heatwave. Cross my fingers, i will make it. Because i've tried my very best and the results should turn out good. Oh there's more writing to do than this. Have a taste of what it's like in my course. The endless typing, and freaking long posts, with reports and scripts in between assignments. I've tried quite a lot of new things in these 3 weeks of schooling. MD recording, where my task was basically to record a live presentation of an introduction to a popular rockstar, Bon Jovi. And it was a two thumbs up!!! Then, theres assessed speeches and non-assessed speeches, which like normal, i screwed up BIG time. The presentation on grammar seemed fine, while Social Psychology was at it's climax when we were given a chance to raise some funds (showing off our entrepeneurship qualities) through selling off different simple items with crazy, unreasonable prices( like a pen which caused 8 bucks?!) , or merely just collecting donations by people around for FMS project fund. However, one thing that's bumming up till now, which is the long lectures that went like forever every Monday. I'm almost prepared every time Monday falls. I'll bring some food in my bag, as well as some entertainment in my lappy, to prevent myself from dozing off and eventually create a pool of drool on the matfloor.

Oh, another important note. i simply miss my besties and other girlfriends and boyfriends back at secondary school. I chatted with my buddy, Syakirah just now, and apparently, i let go off all my dreadful emotions that's been piling up like torrents, as well as going on with the fact that i missed her terribly. Later, while talking, tears streamed down my cheeks and this alone proved the great feeling of miss, deep down my soul. But this is life, and as what she commented, the separation was cruel. She's happy with her life now, and i'm too, at school. But sometimes, how i wished we could hang out together, and laughed like we did before, how we could entertain one another just like that, how all the words seemed so beautiful, and how the whole experience was simply irresistible. Now, things are unrepeatable and memories will still be, memories.

And mr adam, let me touch you tonight.

I woke up with a deaf left ear and my handphone's ringing like madddddd! I picked up the call, and the creature on the other end, just refused to say anything. ''Hello. Hello? Hello! Hello, hello; hello?!'' still i heard no sound or voice, and then later, came this magical word, '' cheebye'' (i said it because i forgot how to say bye)and i put it down, expectedly. I've got appaling reasons to scrutinize the caller, because he/she must be pranking all the more, to suprisingly realised that i could still picked the call up even if it's a fucking 5.45am? Unless he/she's got some disabilities in speaking, i don't understand why they just don't greet me back, although if he/she choosed to fart on the phone and hung up. Apparently, my mood's dead because i couldn't really hear due to serious breakage on my left ear drum. (well not so serious because slightly 29 minutes after, an invisible hand smacked me which caused my left ear to worked.. SOOO CLEARLY!) I slept back, realising that a useless motherfucker had grew so sexcited with her/his newly bought handphone, that he/she decided to call strangers in the wee wee morning. Poseur.

Perceptions. perception stinks. That's what i thought after knowing more on perceptions. Likewise, i do assume people as this and that, and every other bad things, if he/she possesses stinky attitude. I hate it, i hate to see student rebelling to teachers, and teachers scolding students, when students come to school late, when they got punished, and blah blah blah. i make judgements based on morality, characteristics, behaviour and habits. If they're prone to emerge as the next big gangsters smoking opium, bingeing alcohols and bashing innocents, i'll categorize them as self-destructor and an obvious gone case, which leads to serious 'screw up big time' first impressions. At least, that's what they will show in public. Now, the more i think about it, the more i ask myself. Are they that bad? Who is them, before this? Are they still the one dominating spaces and craving for authority? Or they're just like everyone else, the curious but not the courageous, the thinkers but not the fearless. I've been thinking about it, and asking why? There must be something wrong with their frequency in life.. somewhere. Somewhere along the road, there's obstacles that they need to overcome, but they failed too, and they're jaded.  Their morale ran low, too low for them to even hide. They choose the wrong path in life and all this, kicks off a new chapter for them. One by one, they unfold the pages, and tell people that they're the next big thing. They feared others with their smart moves, they gambled, they kicked and punched the weaklings, theyre braveeee.. brave than the courageous. But actually, sad to say, they're never anywhere there. They're brave for the wrong things, and that's stinky. In other words, they're still coward jackasses, who don't own up to the people around them that they don't belong with them initially, but because of their curiousity, they still go with the flow. They're pretentious, because they're scared of rejection. They want to be popular, they want credibility.

Now let us all think. If we're dealing with babies, what more can we do is only to show love. Babies are delicate human beings who cannot differeniate right from wrong, and all of them appear innocent. Thus, we will all go mushy mushy gugu gaga and all other baby languages to get attention, to talk, to interact with babies, and because we're nice to them, they will respond back. Have you ever seen in any case, some man or woman, who pulls the babies hair for no reason, and shouting at the baby to get his/her attention? Only an insane-niest, retarded and 'cannot think' human beings do that. Have you ever seen, a baby who's grumpy all the time, who has this big round and spooky eyes, and a deadly stare? A badass baby, rather? All of us originated from our mom's womb, and we see the world once our mum deliver us, as this small, tiny fragile newborn baby. There's no such thing as a badass baby, so it means we're all good people in the first place.

There are worse days in life, when i can't hold on to something i love. There are happy days when i'll be smiling with my friends and doing stuffs that we all love, too. Sometimes we do social gathering, sometimes we create slumber parties. More often than not, i've ruined it. I'll be there but the side of me just changed. This side of me is mean, this side of me got issues. I've been living with my wave of emotions for a very long time, and i don't like it at all. It's terrible when it reaches a certain extent, the consequences just got too unbearable. It leave sparks on people's hearts, it strained a beautiful relationship and it stinks my reputation. I've neglected my secondary schoolmates in a bid of realising that i actually could have done my part in bonding the friendship we build since secondary 1. But, everything was too fast for me to control that now, i guessed its damn late already. We've moved on with life, but the memories would stick. As of now, i'm feeling so sorry for myself, fretting to such regretting event, and how peculiar it seemed that we're once good friends; now everything became ashes of deep and intense longing. We don't really contact anymore, and this stirred anoymity. We hardly speak and it killed my spirit. We barely meet up, and i was on the verge of tearing. Remember how we used to laugh, how we used to joke around, how we showed love to each other, how we sang when returning home from school, how we panicked for no reason, how our eyes sparkled when it locked, how we intertwined the bond, how we became so close......yet so far. I don't seem to give my best shot and in between i drowned in the rain. My shadows faded and it's my choice to disappear. Time kept running out, but i said i can't continue like this. I got to study, i got to mug. So, each and everytime, my precious time was filled with years of recapping, lots of revising and homeworks that could have made me went bananas. And it was with this influence in mind, that i drifted apart, later the gap became more huge, while my beloved friends sadly watched me walked away..

The only thing i tried to do and wanted to, was find a source that kept me awake. Get rid of the boundaries that idly, i invented. Throw words, start off a communication. I missed my friends a lot now, than i do so once upon a time. I wished i could meet them again and hugged them and said that i'm sorry and pecked a kiss on their cheeks and said that i'm sorry again.. and i really want them to know that i love them as much as i love myself. They discovered how beautiful i am, and i can't live without their fate in me. I did well for my olevel examinations and they were there to celebrate it with me. I wept back home and i cried. I cried because i thought i've been selfish before. I've taken all of them, each and everyone of them for granted. This love, that kept us together was pure and real. They're a natural and everything seems right when i'm with them. I want to see their faces but time can't solve everything. I should have just imagine.

No, you can't walk this world alone because you cannot make it on your own.

I've got fantabulous classmates in NP. They're merrily warming and contagious. I can't get enough of this moment. And slowly as life paced, i know i would have whose backs. (?) So, let's switch to something far more exciting. Trends has it that now, the most popular pants teens wore and should have is... skinnies. Haha, i thought it's very cool, and sexay yaw. Everywhere around my school, i would see a couple of students prancing here and there, jumping here and there with their skinnies. It is definitely alright to wear skinnies IF they're of an average size or obviously, skinnies's for the skinnies. (haha) How about them, who're many pounds heavier, and look up to fashion as their life statement. It reflected on them entirely, and left that disgusting image to other societies, because they're big and still, got that burning desire to wore... SKINKIES? no, it doesn't blend la bodoh! But, hey this brings me to another topic. Ironically, fat people are stealing the limelight and getting far more attention than the preety chickies. They don't made guys drool (but maybe we leave that part out because their assets are sometimes toooo nice) and so, tyhe limelight we're talking about is not all about the nicest things. They're getting more attention from what they wear, and how they look like in it. Basically, i love surfing friendster it's intimidating. I could view how people posed and took shots of themselves. Either mirror reflections or anything involving image. Then, there's a spot on in their attire. Recently, i saw a display picture of this 'heavy' woman, wearing just a bra and panty, then taking multiple shots of herself on her BED! ewwwwww it gave this shot in the gut. How disgusting can that be? That's what we categorized as bimbotic turnover and promiscuos behaviour. If some chikopek guys happen to look at her picture, it will definitely turn her on. Thereafter, adding her on MSN, chatting, get to know each other better, became too personal and viola, let's meet up! So, such indecent poses with ridiculous choice of venue, fuelled dramatic responses, and this just accelerated the content of curiousity thereafter increasing the amount of testosterones in a guy. Now, this is not just being done by the particular girl. Even some average or thin girls had this tendency to pose in such a manner, and it's a ludicrous attempt. I could have laughed and giggled, but it's actually worrying me. I just don't want my specie to be called some cheap stuffs, or discriminate and terrorize our status for good. I don't want my specie to lose out from the predator. But others around don't seem to help us make it come true.

With a kiss on the side of my face, i dreamnt of him in my entire sleep.

I'm proud to have a mum like her (:

Radio heatwave is looking out for part time deejays. Oh,oh, it really sounds so exciting and i made a decision to sign up for it. After all, my dreams are simple and that's to become a deejay. I really love to work in a radio studio, where there be peace and quiet, but i got to do a whole lot of other relevant stuffs which creates an enormous form of adrenaline rush especially when the major challenge is in multi tasking. Super super super hard, and on top of that, there's a constant necessity to perform research; research for weather forecasts, research for traffic updates and others. From under the silence that's too complex and lethal, i have to work like there's no one's business. But nevertheless, it's worth a try. And being able to communicate fluently as well as entertaining the listeners with hit songs each day, from dawn to dusk, it's been a remarkable journey towards serving the society and gaining the best of experience like never before. Hmmmmm..

Anyway, poly's life been hectic and ardiously exhausting so far. There's continuos amount of workload, whereby assignments just couldn't go away. On top of that, it's an applause for goodwork in killing innocent freshies like us, with projects that stuck between the line. I'm too amazed at such humongous demands put up front, that it's totally an impossible thing to do some serious eye exercises for just one minute. Talk about poly life. Hah, is this what i'll be expecting? Or maybe more of.. tasks that should be done when you're in mass comm. Apparently, the lecturers smiled from ear to ear while we're supposedly doting on homeworks and tests. Does that not differ poly from secondary school or any other local institutions. Wherever you're in, any part of Singapore, it's a singaporean's responsibility to manage their time wonderfully, or else, they're dead from intangible loads of such gruesome pressure. And our country's fast pacing, if you cannot cope with others; instead you see yourself groan, moan and retaliate, then too bad. Noone's gonna pick you up provided if you've got the will to change how you're doing. I can't believe i'm a singaporean of this generation. Haha, ok not funny. Perhaps another method to destress is by joining a cca. That sounds so much fun, like many seniors once said, being involved in a co-curricular activity is what makes poly life fun. Thus, i'm thinking of joining a cca. A bigger percentage lies on the fact that i'm trying to change for the better. As i remembered possessing an atrociously bad habit recently, of skipping cca practises and then ending up, moving to another brand new cca. -__- but that doesn't help because i'll be flying to another one in a matter of days due to an unsatisfactory from what that latter could offer. So, i wish to make my own decision and i want to grow up. I need to be mature , mature enough to think of the right thing to do. Having a cca provides me more room to practise independency and discipline. Apart from that, family matters should not be neglected. I love my parents and siblings a lot and because of this, i found it freaking difficult to adapt to a total change; a change where i can't hold on to my bigger brother anymore, and this created mix feelings deep down inside. I'm angry because life's been separating us and build this strong boundary which stops me from communicating with him. I'm sad because we can't talk like we used to anymore. We're just so distant and it left this huge scar filled with intense remorsity and regrettion.

(i'm spastic since as long as i could remember)

On another note, i'm facing this issue of having a  tagboard. Needless to say, tagboard's becoming a main concern of almost all blogs, whether if it's blogspot or blogdrive. Because readers start spamming and flooding bloggers with all sorts of nonsensical remarks/ comments which sometimes, could lead to deep grudges as all the remarks and comments aren't even true. Either you, spammers leave or bloggers shut down their blogs. They don't deserve this, and resounding the fact that you're bored after reading a long post isn't a pleasant stuff to say. Of course the blog's my space and i have the biggest freedom to do what i want with it.  Lifejournal can really save my life and time because it's more secluded in there, and tagboards are none. And so much for having to think that putting up a tagboard is fun.

Maybe, i'm not sharing the same dream as my parents or relatives. I felt as if i'm walking in circles. I'm just taking slow and easy steps to a path of infinity. A path of nothingness.

rawwwwwh. its been like ages since i last blog a post; a period of time like no other : when santa claus' beard grows twice the length, when the goatee of some hot man begins to cover his whole mouth, and when the women grows thick bushes of hair below their armpits. I feel as if i've beginning to miss out on a lot of fun-blogging session but yet again, it's a pity realising some bloggers are not really counting themselves in this. But, i just so couldn't help myself to remember that once, i do remind myself to blog- a practise i've been suppressed to follow religiously. However, the sad thing when holidays are leaving me again, and it's about time to start off school, which caused my schedule to be disrupted in some ways. I'm abandoning this haven again.

School's cool. People around me were asking, both young and old, at how school impacted the life i lived in, and how practically, i had to do what i don't do best- that's making new friends. I know i'm capable for anything that comes in my way, whether it's a hard challenge i need to endure and overcome eventually or mythical paranoia in the process of making new circle of peeps. I know i'm prepared myself enough and if anything comes in my way, whether the seniors can provide me with constructive advices not just bombarding me on the actual fact that there's more negatives if you're taking mass communication. I don't care because after all, if you're a poly student, you've got to be independent after all. People are counting down on you to make it good, the lecturers are expecting too much of a humongous expectation from you, so i don't see why there's no boundaries and struggles along the way. If i have to choose the hard way out, i will.

So, first day was barely much just lectures, and i'm haphazardly looking for reasons as to why we got to sit down for like a fucking 6 hours in the same lecture room, with just eeny tiny miny breaks and a standard one hour lunch break, when it's obvious that the lecturers are just skimming through only the fundamental points and basis of her/his module. I just don't get it- but wait i don't think there's a need to. With a few students apparently were preety much sick with all that talks which seemed like a decade that they decided to doze off for just a minute, and some others who yawned BIG TIME, that even a dozen flies could have made that room its home, it's a fact that lectures on Monday couldn't pull through by a large number of freshies. But, i can. (: Even though its preety much just a lecture, i love the way the airconditioner rises up to its maximum workforce and blew up an indescribable windy breeze that slapped my face from left to right, and the strands of hair were all swaying  backwards to forward following the beat of the wind. Oh Oh, and learning together as a BIG mass of mass comm students sounded so cool, and boy was it exciting too!  I witnessed a live debate session participated by a female and a male, on the topic of how there should or shouldn't be any restriction to what a blogger will have to write in his/ her blog. That's the best part! Hmm, i remembered i made friends with so much of people, and my classmates were basically beautiful people with heart of gold, that we could really click on very well. What's more, the lecturers are good souls too, who sounded caring and friendly, who appeared rough but polite, and who dressed vogue-ly yet soo simple.

And i remembered i had radio lesson like two days back and we had to introduce ourselves. For a split second, i was glued to my seat, and my brain too was unfortunately sticked to my feet, because it wasn''t working la. I am clueless to what i want to say and i really don't intend to sound like a total idiot who never understand herself. I want to sound a professional and  the attempt of fitting in with the rhythm of communication seems awe. I barely pass because i was still rummaging at what i'm about to talk, when others did not even have to rely on their thoughts or first impressions. Then when it was my turn, i just spoke my lungs out and whatever that came to mind, i spit it out. I didn't care what others were saying even when i was bumping and slurring my speech in some occasions. But in the end, i don't know i could be that funny, but seriously, people were laughing. Is that good, or what? If it is, then i think im entertaining, but if it's not good, then.. okay shut up.

So radio lesson's unbelievably spectacular with too much of theory and talking AGAIN. aah i could rot and die man, if this continue on. I'm taking 4 modules this semester - Social  Psychology and Communication, Radio, Speech Communication, Written Communication and Contemporary Issues, with a module thats called IS dunno what but that's only on even weeks. Its cool so far, well at least for now, there's no sports and wellness. But, poly life's been fabulous, with the totally cheap food in campus and the warm welcome from friendly seniors plus lecturers, but most importantly the ever soo chirpy freshmen, who made FMS a better school to adapt in. I'll be loving Mass Comm.

I was introducing an awesome software programme, iphoto to my smaller brother and dude, he was captivated by it, that he called it a phenomena. Unfortunately, i can go insanely gonnnggggg when he's always persuading me to make all sorts of stop it poses, and then he'll go clickatic click on my laptop zillion times, to take crappy pictures. I could have killed and slashed him into microscopic pieces, knowing the consequences of his actions which could lead to fatal impairment on my newly-bought macbook. Siao, he used it as if it's his.

Ahh loverboy's still not showing. Tough luck.

That's the annoying dude right there.

The stop it monkey faces. (anyway this pictures are taken way back and has got nothing to do with iphoto, hahaha.)

So readers both loyal, or just patronizing, are interrogating me with questions that i myself, have got no answer to it. They're asking why i manage to write long post everytime i blog. I don't know, and its my business la. hahahahha. XD okay la so now, let me make this short.

THE END. (is it short in the first place?)

AHHH yang ku sayang.